6 THINGS I'VE LEARNT ON MY FIRST NIGHT OUT AS A MUMMY

If any of you knew me pre-settling down, I loved a good knee's up. Not much has changed over the last year apart from the fact I have been gagging for a celebratory outing with my best girl. Being pregnant and missing your birthday, Christmas and your engagement is just all a little bit underwhelming when you can't get a little bit merry now and again. So this weekend I dusted off the cobwebs from my heels and prepared to dance until dawn and this is what I learnt.

YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'VE LOST A LIMB WHEN GETTING READY
For the last 2 months, every time I have had the opportunity to put make up on it's either been a quick slap on with a baby on my lap or with the background soundtrack of rain sounds. So when you are baby free and able to cover your face in glitter with no pressure and a glass of alcohol it feels a little strange.

YOU CANNOT HANDLE YOUR DRINK AS MUCH AS YOU COULD PRE BABY
I've always been a good drinker and a lover of shots. I made myself a pact to "take it easy"...and failed at the first hurdle - sinking back into old Sambucca related habits and paying for it mercifully this morning.

YOU WILL SHOW OFF PICTURE TO RANDOM STRANGERS
Talking to new drunken friends takes on a new form when you start telling people you had a baby 8 weeks ago in a intoxicated stated and shoving your phone in their faces. I'm sorry random strangers. My baby is cute as hell and I created him.

YOU WILL CHECK IN ON A REGULAR BASIS
I asked Theo's Dad to send me regular updates and bless him, despite his flaws he did as he was told and messaged me at every feed as if Theo was texting me...it was ridiculously cute and eased the Mum guilt as I was necking back jagerbombs.

PARTYING UNTIL 3AM IS OUT OF THE QUESTION
When asked what time I would be home I kind of shrugged and guessed any time between 12am and 3am. After 5 hours of dancing in heels that hadn't been worn in around a year I caved and headed for the kebab shop at 1:30am...not too shabby but not a patch on my pre baby self.

YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH RESPONSIBILITY THE NEXT MORNING
Slowly dying in bed with a McDonalds will now be a thing of the past. You've got shit to do. Changing nappies. Cleaning bottles. It's just not as fun as binge watching a series on Netflix with far too much food.